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Attracting Women from A to Z – “Authentic Game” Method Revealed
Many years ago when I was starting on this journey to becoming a man who is successful with women, I studied a lot of material on the structure of so-called “outer” game. Outer game is a loose term for all the lines and behaviours men may use to attract women. And a lot of various sources agree on the general structure of the outer game. This can be loosely divided into the following sections: starting conversation, building attraction, qualification, developing rapport or comfort & trust, and seduction. At the time (seems likes decades ago now!), I
learnt a lot of canned lines and stories to be told during each of these
stages to successfully progress to the next “level” in the seduction
process. And I must tell you, I had a few issues with this approach….
Mainly, I felt that a lot of the material was totally incongruent to my
personality, and instead of showing my real myself, I was presenting a girl
with some kind of artificial “Pick Up Persona”. This persona was also
extremely hard to maintain when I met the girl the next time, or to develop
a relationship with the girl. And as honesty and authenticity are my core
values, no wonder that I didn’t enjoy much that kind of game. Later on I discovered that you can attract and
connect with women by being my real, authentic self. Not only the process of
relating to women became much more enjoyable, there was no need anymore to
pretend to be someone you are not. However, looking back at my journey, I still
appreciate what those years in the pick-up community gave me, and I believe
that for guys who have recently started on their journey to success with
women, it would be useful to see the structure in their interactions with
women. Below is the summary of the “Authentic Game” method that I developed,
presented step by step. “Authentic Game” Method Description
This is the first step where you approach a girl
and strike a conversation with her. You can either comment on the situation
you’re both in, ask her a question, or express a direct interest in the girl
here. The important thing is whatever opener you use, make sure that it is
genuine. I.e. if you ask her for an opinion, make sure that you’re actually
interested in her answer. No point asking every woman “Who lies more, women
or men?” if you don’t actually give a damn about their answer. The same goes
for direct openers, they must be a genuine expression of your interest in
the girl, not just a random compliment… The important thing to realise here
is that the exact wording of the opener does not really matter, what matters
much more is its delivery (e.g. pitch, pace, pauses, etc.) and your body
language. To give you an example, the opener that you can use
during the night time when you want to chat to a group of girls is “Hi, you
seem fun, are you friendly?” Here, you shall be genuinely interested in
whether the women are fun and friendly, and if they are not, than you may
wish then good night and move on.
This is generally considered the second step of the
process. The goal of this stage is to spark and develop attraction towards
yourself in a woman through various tools, such as storytelling, teasing,
humour, fun games, etc. Again, Authentic Game presupposes that whatever you
do at this stage should be totally congruent to your personality. So how can
you convey your personality in an authentic way? I believe that teasing and
humour is something that any man would do naturally when he is being himself
at his best. You can joke around with your male friends, don’t you? As for stories and games, I see nothing wrong with
doing you homework here. This means actually remembering some interesting
episodes from your life, which would convey to a woman your attractive
qualities, such as confidence, leadership, ability to protect loved ones and
being on purpose in life. All of us have such stories, it’s just a matter of
remembering them. When I was out there dating a few years ago, I had perhaps
about 15 stories from my life that I told women fairly regularly, and that
conveyed my genuine personality, qualities and interests to a woman. These
stories were 95% true, I might have added just a few minor “imaginary”
details, just to spice them up a bit. In addition to stories, think what kind of games
you like to play or things you like to do yourself. Personally, I used to
show a woman a few salsa steps, as this way I could straight away estimate
how compatible we were on a physical level. Anything like “thumb wars” or
“slaps” can be fun and will add a fun vibe to the interaction.
Once the girl is attracted to you and compelled to
continue the conversation, you would naturally want to find out more about
her to see if she meets your criteria for a girlfriend. Because as a man
who’s got standards, you’d be looking for a woman who possesses some
specific qualities. Hence, you would need to encourage a woman to talk more
about herself and demonstrate her attractive qualities to you. It is also
important to show her that you are interested in her not just because of her
looks like most other guys, but because of her unique personal qualities. So the first step here is to do your homework and
write down a list of qualities / attributes that you want the women you date
to have, as well as a list of deal-breakers. This list can be separated into
“must have’s” and “prefer to have’s”. For example, “fun” and “adventurous”
are my two of my “must have’s”, whereas “bitchy” and “boring” are a couple
of my deal-breakers. The second step is to devise the questions / tests
to recognise whether a woman satisfies those qualities that are important to
you. For example, if you’re looking for a woman with an interesting
lifestyle, then you may ask her “what do you do for fun?”, or if you’re
looking for an adventurous woman, you may ask “what is the most adventurous
thing you have done this summer?” If you like the answers you get to these questions,
then you can choose to extend you interaction with a woman further, if not –
wish her a good day and move on.
Once you’re sure that the woman you met is someone
you would like to get to know further, it is time to develop deeper rapport
in the conversation and to build more comfort & trust. As you know, it is
important for most women to feel safe with the guy and trust him in order to
take things to a sexual level. This is the part of the seduction process where you
would explore your commonalities with a woman and naturally share some of
your life stories. During this stage you discover how your beliefs and
values relate to those of the woman you’re interested in. Again, I see
nothing wrong with doing your homework here and deriving several topics
you’d like to converse on and some stories from your life to tell. For
example, you can speak about travel, hobbies, relationships, jobs, family,
etc. Some topics are there to explore in depth, e.g. relationships, as you
may want to find out what it would be like to have her as a friend or a
lover, plus whether she is seeing someone else at that moment. Another useful model to keep in mind is to make
sure that you talk about four various time periods of your life: childhood,
teenage / college years (or more recent past), your present life, and future
aspirations. This allows to develop a feeling that you have known each other
for a long time. The natural progression of the deep comfort that is
based on mutual attraction between a man and a woman, is the physical
escalation and kissing. The important point here is to take the lead and to
actually kiss a woman when the moment feels right.
Once you got to know a woman, there can be two
options: you may either decide to leave things at the “just friends” level,
or escalate the interaction to the sexual level. In case you choose to
pursue a sexual relation with the woman and you have every reason to believe
that the woman is similarly inclined, you would need to shift up the gear
here… In the spirit of an authentic game, I believe that if you’ve been
relating to a woman genuinely and congruently up to this point, the rest can
be left largely due to instinct. What I mean is that it’s crucial to get out
of your head and into your body, and trust your unconscious mind to feel in
the gaps...
At the same time, having some structure is good
here too. Keep the logistics under control, make sure your house is nice and
tidy, and plan your date at least loosely. Once everything is prepared, and
the intention for the date set, you’re ready to unleash your charismatic,
authentic self onto the world, and all will just fall in place.
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